How To Survive Being Broke In A Post Pandemic World

Not to sound cynical or overly dramatic but everything kinda sucks right now.

Australia's rental crisis is at an all time high.

Everything is expensive AF.

Oh and don't forget we also still have COVID-19 lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce again.

So like many of you I've tried and tested MANY cheats, gimmicks and ploys to save a buck or two during the pandemic.

And I thought... why not share this information with the world because *HOT GIRLS DON'T GATEKEEP.*

Now before you roll your eyes, no, I'm not here to give you unrealistic generic financial advice like "start a budget" or "don't get a credit card."

Because the truth is I'm still not THRIVING in a financial sense, but I am surviving.

And these tricks and facts helped me survive some of the toughest financial moments of my life.

Anyway, without further ado, here's a breakdown of how I survived (sadly not thrived) being broke in a global pandemic and cost of living crisis.

1. For the love of god DO NOT become an Uber driver or Uber Eats delivery driver. I know it may seem like a tempting to earn some extra cash; but trust me in the end it's just not worth your time, money and energy. Once you factor in petrol, regular car cleaning, regular car servicing, upping your insurance coverage, Uber fees and taxes - you barely make a penny!

2. I'm not sure if other cities do this but for us Brissy babes KERBSIDE COLLECTION is the greatest thing to ever exist. Every week residents in chosen suburbs can dispose large household items on the streets for Brisbane City Council to collect. But let me tell you... as soon as these items hit the kerbside, they are up for grabs for anyone and everyone! So if you enjoy being a bit of a fixer upper, I highly recommend driving through the expensive neighbourhoods when it's their collection week. People donate all sorts of things that could easily be sold on Facebook Marketplace. Over the years my partner and I have scored ourselves a coffee table, bedside table, TV cabinet, cupboards, skateboards, surfboards and even a working TV at one point. If there's one thing I've learnt over the years is that rich people are wayyyy too lazy to sell things on Facebook Marketplace.

3. For all my plus size guys, gals and non-binary pals... I have three words for you... PLUS SIZE MARKETS. In several major cities across Australia and even New Zealand there are markets dedicated to the plus size community that allow people to sell and buy pre-owned clothes. So if you're in need of updating your wardrobe or making some side cash, go support plus size markets. Here are some of our faves:

- A Plus Market: Melbourne

- Radically Soft: Sydney

- Double Plus Size Fashion Market: Adelaide

- The Curvy Collective: New Zealand

4. My partner is the biggest coffee snob so it's taken him years to find the perfect at home coffee. Campos Superior will always be his golden child, however, Aldi do a pretty good knock off version with their Lazzio Coffee. And it's more than HALF the price of Campos!

5. Any financial advisor or finance podcast guru would say don't do this buttttttt when you're broke and desperate this is a lifesaver. On several occasions I admittedly used ZipPay to buy a Woolworths voucher so I could afford groceries. Was this an ideal situation for my financial future? Of course not. But when you suddenly lose your job and Centrelink won't give you money for another two weeks, things like ZipPay and AfterPay can be a lifesaver when you have to choose between paying rent and eating dinner.

6. If you're a Brissy babe - listen up! I know there's not a lot to do in Brisbane in comparison to our popular big sisters Melbourne and Sydney, however, we do have CINEPLEX CINEMAS. For under $50 you can score yourself two movie tickets, two large popcorns, two large drinks AND two choc tops. $50 will barely get you two movie tickets at most places! So if you're in need of a cheap night out, a date night or some alone time away from home - Cineplex is the way to go!

7. Buy laundry detergent and dishwashing tablets at your local Reject Shop. No one should be paying $50 for a box of dishwashing tablets - that's more than my hourly wage!

8. GOOGLE COUPONS EVERY TIME YOU PURCHASE SOMETHING ONLINE. No matter what it is go to google and see if there are any coupons floating around on the web. Or if you’re more organised I highly recommend downloading Honey. It's a browser extension that automatically finds and applies coupon codes at checkout. And best of all - it's free.

9. If you're always tempted to order food on UberEats whenever the emotions kick in (hi, yes, that's me) might I suggest using the Woolworths and Coles apps instead. You get more for your buck, less fees AND you still get food delivered right to your door.

10. Is what I'm about to suggest ethical? Mmmmm no. Buttttt bitches gotta hustle. And times are tough. And stop judging me, okay. Anyway, if you're a student in their final year of university/tafe, might I suggest getting a new student ID card during your last or second last semester. Why? Because student card = student discounts. And student IDs last a good couple of years. So when you're out and about after uni your ID is technically still usable for student discounts. Yes I know unethical blah blah blah but again this is what it takes to survive the broke life. It's not glamorous, it's not simple - you have to HUSTLE.

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Header Image Source: Canva

Why Are We Still Questioning Others' Disabilities?

There’s been many discussions about disabilities in the media this past week.

Media personality and podcaster Em Rusciano was publicly accused of lying about her ADHD and autism diagnosis.

And actress Chloé Hayden was barred from Marvel Stadium’s sensory room as she apparently didn’t look “autistic enough.”

Sadly situations like these are far too common in the disability community.

So I decided to ask my followers to share their stories of when people doubted their disabilities.

Unfortunately MANY of you have experienced this type of ableism, and for most of you it seems to be on a daily basis.

Here is what you had to say...

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"I often get told I don't look disabled, which is true, for most people I don't. The main reason is that during a flare I don't leave the house and don't have the energy to see anyone. I've also had people doubt my disability because I sometimes try to have fun / a life. They don't see the prepping and careful planning beforehand, emergency meds for during an event and weeks of recovery afterwards. And of course the parking permit issues, especially being young and fat, so [people think] I must be lazy." - Rose

"I use mobility aids and struggle with chronic pain. I once had a stranger approach me and tell me I was 'too young to be walking the way I was and needing mobility aids.' She then stated 'God, I'm in my eighties, and look at you, what will you be like when you're my age?'" - Jen

"Despite having multiple autoimmune conditions, my mother used to love telling me if I went for a walk occasionally and lost some weight I'd feel better. My step-father used to tell me there's nothing wrong with me I'm just lazy. I stopped talking to both of them several years ago." - Amy

"I have heard many [people say] 'some of us don't get to lie around in bed all day.' Like, sorry for being chronically ill, I guess!" - Sarah

"When I tell people I have Autism, the most common response I get is 'you don’t look autistic.' Since I was a teenager, I started to mask as for my whole life I really struggle to make friends." - Blake

"Had a teacher tell me my child can’t be autistic because 'he’s too smart' and questioned the validity of two reports confirming [his] diagnosis." - Dianne

"My partner (28yo m) has a colostomy bag and requires to change and/or empty it in public sometimes. He has been abused by elderly (and carers of elderly) for using the disabled bathroom, because once he puts his shirt down, you can barely notice the bag on his tummy. He usually just flashes his bag and the seem to pipe down… but it does my head in - he doesn’t owe them any explanation!" - Rochelle

"I'm 29 & look 'healthy' but I have Ankylosing Spondilitis, which is a degenerative disease that affects my spine. I was wrongly diagnosed at first so went three years without treatment and I became really ill, to the point I was essentially housebound & almost became bedbound. People would constantly bug me about when i was going to get some hobbies, that I should exercise more etc when it was a struggle for me to even get up to use the toilet." - Nadia

"I have ADHD, I struggle with friend groups a lot, since growing through unmasking I’ve lost most of my friends because ‘I’m too hard to deal’ with or I’ve become ‘high maintenance’ just due to missing social cues and sensory issues. I feel like people judge me straight off the bat and just hate me and never give me a chance so I never make friends either, I'm exhausted to the point I don’t even try anymore ‘cause it makes me so fucking depressed." - Sandra

"My aunt has a disability parking permit due to a back injury and is unable to walk very far without pain. She's frequently accosted at shopping centres by people accusing her of parking illegally even though her permit is displayed." - Jan

"[I have] multiple chronic illnesses and an autoimmune disease. Family still make fun of me and call me lazy when I have capacity issues or go a bit slower. I end up trying harder and making myself sicker to overcompensate which I need to stop doing." - Sam

"I have myalgic encephalomelitis or M.E. amongst other things. It’s on the mild-moderate end of the scale. There are no tests to confirm, just a criteria, and even some doctors are sceptical. Invisible disabilities can be so difficult. People say things like 'oh I don’t see you that way' or 'I wouldn’t use that word.' As if being disabled should be feared or people protected from it. It’s still me." - Zed

"After I was diagnosed with ADHD at 45, I told my extended family. As I described some of my challenges as someone with ADHD to my sister-in-law she said 'everyone's like that.' Ah, no they aren't. Don't invalidate my life. Maybe go get yourself assessed if you relate, instead of treating me like a child." - Emily

"I have Crohn’s disease, ADHD, and a number of neurological & sensory issues. I spent 10 years of my life (14-24) in debilitating pain until I had a bowel obstruction and sepsis and almost died because no one believed I was in pain and my family and doctors told me It was all in my head. Even after getting diagnosed, having part of my bowel removed and being unable to work or study for two years, people reject me when I tell them I am disabled. Not being believed is deadly and scary and isolating." - Jane

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*Names have been changed

Header Image Source: Canva

Unorthodox Tips to Manage Anxiety From An Anxious Therapist

Having experienced anxiety since the age of zero, I've had a wide variety of experiences with health professionals and therapists.

Now, actually kind of by accident, I am a therapist and while I am well enough to be a therapist (and wouldn't do this job if I wasn't) my anxiety is definitely an aspect of myself that has affected how I provide therapy to others.

When a client comes to me and explains their mental health, one of two things can happen.

The first is serious therapist mode, usually when the client needs really firm boundaries and has really high risk behaviours of concern.

The second is friendly therapist mode, usually when the client has a level of anxiety I can relate to and isn't as much of a risk to themselves and others.

I typically have some idea of which it will be, but humans can still surprise the shit out of me.

Fortunately, my brain has the capacity to go into "therapist mode" either way so during the session, it doesn't affect my approach (and I would undoubtedly not do this job if it did).

If anything I like to think it makes me more empathetic and less judgemental, particularly a few sessions in when appropriate disclosure can be used to normalise the fact they are in therapy (because I am too).

Where my anxiety lets me down, is afterwards:

After a session with my 13 year old client who has to go home where she lives with an abusive father and no child protection response.

After a session with my 18 year old client who wants to commit suicide and has to rely on her historically abusive parents to keep her safe.

After a session with my 22 year old client who frequently dissociates and finds herself in extremely precarious situations.

After a session in which all I can do is make a safety plan and hope when I get back to work the next day, the client is still at least as okay as I left them.

It's after these sessions that I ruminate, fidget, withdraw, and (much to my partner's dismay) become super agitated and generally unpleasant.

So, in these post-session moments, here are the strategies your friendly neighbourhood anxious therapist uses for coping.*

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Mindfulness is not synonymous with meditation.

Instagram is flooded with people recommending the most mundane versions of mindfulness.

Sitting in a room listening to an audio recording of someone telling me to concentrate on the noises around me or how my body feels actually makes me more anxious.

I've worked with young people who literally hyperventilate when trying breathing techniques because (shock!) not everything works for everyone.

And no, journaling is not mindfulness.

In its most literal sense, mindfulness just means bringing your awareness to your current mental and emotional state to give your brain a break.

You can do this while you are doing literally anything.

The most effective way is to do small things throughout your day because otherwise it's just effort added to your day.

Instead, try counting cracks on the pavement or the bubbles when you wash the dishes.

See what shapes you can find in the clouds or branches of nearby trees.

My personal favourite is counting my partner's beard hair or the curls on my cavoodle.

Yes, your mind will wander and yes, that's okay.

Two minutes is better than no minutes.

Charlotte is always open with her clients about her anxiety.

Tune into your sensory preference and use it!

I'm the type of anxious that means I'm constantly restless and it's exhausting.

So, I am drawn to weighted blankets and coarse materials for comfort.

My favourite item is an aluminium wire ring that I roll up and down my finger that has helped me immensely during anxiety inducing interactions.

For other people, this could be soft blankets, plush toys, showers, or even nothing touching them at all.

It might be music, stretching, tearing paper, or that age old gem - popping bubble wrap.

It's very likely you already do something that satisfies this preference, you just haven't figured out how valuable it can be when you're anxious.

Step back and use some perspective.

There's a very easy to apply technique for when you have those negative self-talk moments after awkward social interactions, comments from unthoughtful people, or just when you're having a bad day.

Ask yourself: If a friend came to you and explained the same situation and negative self-talk, how would you respond to them?

Usually the answer to this question will be that their negative self-talk just isn't true, and if that's the case for your friends, it's almost certainly the case for you.

For example, you go on a date and think it went well but they ghost you.

Your brain might go 'what's wrong with me?' or, like me, you may strain your hippocampus reliving the date in an attempt to figure out what you did wrong.

So, how would you respond to your friend if they were in this situation?

You'd probably say 'their loss, babes' or 'you probably dodged a bullet' or (my personal favourite), 'need me to kill them for you?'

There's no rulebook that says you can't be your own friend.

It takes time, but when it works, it works… and if it doesn't work, go tell a friend to get extra reinforcement.

Don't be afraid to seek professional help.

Most of my clients are absolutely floored when I tell them I not only have my own therapist, but am on anti-anxiety medication.

Then, I explain it's the only way I can actually do my job well, and remind them I'm human too.

Speaking to most GP's about mental health comes with either dismissal or invalidation, however this absolute trash system means it is necessary.

Necessary, but momentary.

So take a deep breath, have someone supportive on standby to call afterwards, and do the damn thing.

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So yes, I have anxiety and yes, I am a therapist.

My post-session anxiety is because I am human, and I am lucky enough to be able to try all these strategies before I give them to my clients.

So I know not everything works for everyone, sometimes things need to be tailored, and more importantly, that anxiety sucks.

Big time.

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*While I hope they might be helpful for you, this in no way replaces professional advice from a mental health professional. If you feel you need support, go to your GP, get a mental health care plan, and find a counsellor or psychologist to talk through things.